HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE AN 80'S THROWBACK!

1. You relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing to the "Footloose" soundtrack.
2. You're still bitter that Wham! broke up.
3. Punky Brewster is your hero.
4. You type all of your assignments on a Sinclair ZX81.
5. Then you print them out with the Sinclair ZX printer.
6. The only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man.
7. You're building your own Clockwork Smurf.
8. Ultravox's "Vienna" is still your favourite video (it's certainly MY favourite!)
9. You consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms.
10. You wonder why more people don't wear high heels, Jordache jeans, and lacy ankle socks.
11. You call all motorcycle cops "Ponch".
12. Every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks.
13. You're still upset Madonna and Sean broke up.
14. You work out with "The Green Goddess".
15. You remember that Metal Mickey's favourite sweets were 'Atomic Thunderbusters'.
16. You enjoy dancing on the ceiling and wearing your sunglasses at night.
17. You still think of Janet Jackson as "that girl who used to date Willis".
18. You can sing the theme song to Small Wonder.
19. Every time you see a fountain you want to dance around it and yell "Fame!".
20. You still have a shoebox full of Garbage Pail Kid cards.
21. You know it's not "comma, comma, comma" it's Karma, Karma, Karma.
22. You can't sleep for wondering what Bastian's mother's name was in "The Neverending Story".
23. You have nightmares about the Phantom Flan Flinger.
24. You still practice your Care Bear Stare.
25. You know that girls just wanna have fuh-un.
26. You can name all The Wuzzles.
27. You can do the Safety Dance.
28. You know whose phone number is 01-811-8055.
29. You drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom told you to.
30. You have a duck phone and ride around your house on a little train.
31. You still watch things on Betamax tapes.
32. You want to change your name to Rio and dance on the sand.
33. You know that "Weird Science" was a movie before a tv show.
34. Your favourite proverb is "some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on".
35. Your favourite party game is Hungry Hippos.
36. You saw the New Kids on the Block when they were Tiffany's opening act.
37. You practice getting in and out of your car through the windows.
38. You have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts.
39. You keep asking your teachers if instead of the quiz you can take the physical challenge.
40. You can do the 'Blockbusters' hand-jive.
41. You still drink New Coke.
42. You never go out for a night on the town without frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs.
43. You can name all of the Thundercats.
44. You regulary cry 'For the power of Grayskull!!'.
45. Everything in your wardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent.
46. Sometimes you just want to shout, shout, let it all out.
47. You use your Speak and Spell to phone home.
48. Sometimes out of the blue you just got to shake your love.
49. When you're stuck in traffic you tell your car to engage Turbo Boost and are surprised when it doesn't talk back.
50. You remember when Vanessa sang Kareoke to "Locomotion".
51. You know that Mr. Steele functions best in an advisory capacity.
52. People are constantly gagging you with spoons.
53. Your idea of appreciating ancient cultures is "Walk Like an Egyptian".
54. You still use your hair crimper before going out on a hot date.
55. You hatch plots to break Murdock out of VA hospital.
56. You have "We Are the World" on 45.
57. You're still sending death threats to Mr. Rubik.
58. You can feel St. Elmo's fire burnin' in you.
59. You watch NYPD Blue thinking, "Well, they're no Crockett and Tubbs, that's for sure".

    OK, that's the end of the original list, so here are a few of my suggestions:-

60. You can imitate a Trimphone.
61. You know what a Trimphone is, or you still own one!
62. You own and still wear a pair of deely-boppers.
63. You body-pop or breakdance to every song you hear.
64. You still cry at E.T.
65. You know all the words to "We all stand together".
66. You own a C5.
67. You still wear velvet suits and frilly shirts.
68. Your watch alarm still plays the 'Star Wars' theme music.
69. You still make up your face in the style of Adam Ant.
70. You still have the video of when you called "Saturday Superstore" to speak to the star guest.
71. You still think that there's such a lovely word as 'Crackerjack!'
72. You still believe that Saturday is 'TISWAS' day.
73. Your microwave oven is the size of a small urban conurbation.
74. The only satellite channels you subscribe to are VH-1 and UK Gold.
75. You need a shopping trolley to carry your personal stereo with you.
76. It takes 10 minutes for your push-button phone to connect to your dialled number.

    And now to the guest contributions. To start the ball rolling, a little admission from Mr. Ben Knight in Aberystwyth:-

77. Your phone rings and you shout out "It's for yoooooooouuuu-hooooooooo!!"

    The next 20 were contributed (in a rather long e-mail!) by Matthew Gilbert - thanks a lot Matt!!

78. You can't hear the air raid siren in a war film without saying "When you hear the air attack warning, you and your family must take cover, Ow, ow ow..."
79. Think Howard Kendall/Kenny Dagilsh (delete as appropiate) is the best football manager around and reckon he should be in charge of England
80. Expect Everton/Liverpool (again delete!) to be in the Cup Final every year.
81. Hear the names 'William Shatner' or 'Heather Locklear' and think "Ah yes, T.J. Hooker!"
82. Say "You're Game for a Laugh!" when playing a really feeble practical joke on somebody.
83. Keep writing or saying 'West Germany' when you really mean 'Germany'.
84. See a Gospel choir on Songs Of Praise and start pointing your index fingers in all directions and singing "Brother Lee, Brother Lee, Brother Lee Lurrve!"
85. Can't hear "1999" by Prince, "Hot Water" by Level 42, "The WIzard" by Paul Hardcastle, or "Yellow Pearl" by Phil Lynott, without wanting to read aloud thorugh a chart runndown.
86. a) Keep sending letters to Radio 1 asking to take part in Gary Davies's Day To Day Challenge.
    b) Expect to hear Radio 1 on 275 and 285 metres Medium Wave.
    c) Still listen to Radio 1 in the morning and expect to hear the "7 o'clock scream".
87. Do not laugh at Steve Coogan's Tony Ferrino, 'cause Russ Abbot did it first with Julio Doubleglesias.
88. Wear white T-Shirts with big black printed slogans on...
89. ...or football shirts with shadow stripes or pinstripes.
90. Watch repeats of 3-2-1 on Challenge TV and still lust after that Debbie Arnold who did all the comedy sketches.
91. (a) Want them to repeat Lennie Bennett's 'Punchlines', just so that you can lust after Debbie Arnold some more...
    (b) ...and also laugh hysterically at such mixed-up sentences as "At the Labour Conference, Dennis Healy said to Tony Benn: The hills are alive with the sound of music."
92. Still maintain that Kit Curran is king.
93. Say "He shifted himself like Steve Cram" when seeing someone run very fast.
94. Hear "California Girls" by the Beach Boys and think of dancing businessmen on an aeroplane.
95. Are still proud that you defeated 'The Warlock of Firetop Mountain'.
96. Live in an inner city area and want to start a riot.

    And here's one from Mike Lavery up there at Newcatle Uni:-

97. Your idea of a good warm up for a night out is sticking on the intro to Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing" at the highest possible volume.

    Thanks to 'Vinny' (whoever he is!) for this next one:-

98. You admit to cravings for a Vegemite sandwich.

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Right, now it's your turn. If you can think of any more to add to the list, or if you want to admit to doing something then mail me at the_throwback@hotmail.com and I'll add it to the list.

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